Episode 1: The Jug of Water

It's Easter Sunday and Liz's parents haven't met her secret boyfriend yet. Only Liz has an awkward  accident, sending her to the emergency room. Will Liz be able to keep it together enough to introduce mom and dad to the new beau or will she loose it all in a flood of regret? Recorded over the holidays in December of 2020.

Transcript

Liz 0:31

And welcome to Tell That One Story an anecdotal podcasts to brighten your day i'm your co-host liz

Jeremy 0:38

and I'm Jeremy.

Liz 0:39

Jeremy, how are you doing?

Jeremy 0:41

I'm doing okay. Kind of a crappy day, but it's better now.

Liz 0:45

Great. So we can talk. This is part of friendship, sharing embarrassing stories, but I am very excited and stressed out about the fact that it is the holidays, not to like date this podcast episode, but it is the holidays, which means it is that favorite time of year Secret Christmas Prince movie time. There are so many movies. Are you familiar?

Jeremy 1:07

Woah, woah, wait! Secret Prince movie time.

Liz 1:10

Yes.

Jeremy 1:10

Wait, what's that? You need to say that again.

Liz 1:12

Well, they have a lot of qualities to them. Like majority of the film genre, which apparently exists in this genre is Christmas Prince movies. but I have found that my real favorites of them involve a secret prince or sometimes a secret princess where they're like, Oh, I thought you were just, and now it turns out your prince! so there are. Dozens of these movies that exist in every year, we are[muwah!] Chef's kiss blessed with new ones Where do these appear these movies and speak of? Netflix. Amazon Prime streaming. There are some that are like, I'm sure Hulu has some if you were someone, of course, not like myself that gets a streaming membership through the Hallmark Film Channel.

Jeremy 1:54

Wait, wait wait! There's a streaming?

Liz 1:56

Yeah, of course

Jeremy 1:57

Hallmark channel, like a

Liz 1:58

You know, how many Hallmark movies they make, especially during the holidays?

Jeremy 2:01

And it costs money? You pay money for this?

Liz 2:02

Well, I just, I mean, I don't, but maybe people would pay$5.99 a month. Yes. This is a safe space. I'm glad that you see that. Some people would pay$5.99 a month to have their Secret Prince movies. Available to stream at any location at any time. I am excited about this because I have already started to dig into a couple of films on that. One is

Jeremy 2:25

Wait, so let me just get clear in these movies you speak of that people may or may not pay$5.99 a month just to get them exclusively. There is, if I can understand, a love story? These are romance stories with someone.

Liz 2:38

Yeah, well usually, I don't know if you are familiar with The Princess Switch, which is kind of a variation on The Secret Prince, it's sort of the Secret Princess. So that was last year and then they had A Princess Switched, Switched Again, literal title of this, the sequel. I mean, I came out this year and then there's of course A Christmas Prince Prince for Christmas two separate movies. I know that last year the Christmas Prince movie franchise had its third edition, which was The Royal Baby. So, you know, first you find out,"Oh he's a prince" and then you get married and then oh

Jeremy 3:11

Does the baby get switched. Is it"Oh my gosh my baby's not really a prince! Who's the baby?!"

Liz 3:15

There has to be a love interest. It's a little bit, that's closer to arranged marriage, I guess though. Oh my God. For real though, Jer. I was watching it's so crazy. I was watching with a friend of the Switched Again, Princess Switch. And...

Jeremy 3:31

Wait, is that number four in the series?

Liz 3:33

No, no! I don't...who can count? This movie had three princesses switching. At the end, there's a there's an event. It's not quite like a wedding, but it's a ceremony where people walk down an aisle and in the audience, they cut to. The prince and princess and baby spoilers from The Christmas Prince?

Jeremy 3:54

Ohh! From the first one?

Liz 3:56

Yeah, the first one, which is a different franchise Netflix film. So there is a, Christmas Prince Universe.

Jeremy 4:02

With a crossover!

Liz 4:04

There's an extended universe!

Jeremy 4:05

This is insane! They're all going to have a big Christmas prince and princess party. With alliteration!

Liz 4:10

This goes deep. And at the same time, all the way to the top, I am very excited to see how this continues to develop over time so that you can now report it on my new podcast. It is now called Christmas Prince with Liz.

Jeremy 4:25

And is the whole premise, you don't know it's royalty, is that the whole thing?

Liz 4:29

Yeah, that's part of it. You don't know these royalty, you encounter him as he's just lost in town. Trying to

Jeremy 4:35

help a friend or something.

Liz 4:37

He's getting away from an arranged marriage. So he's just saying he got lost. He got lost in New York on his way to New York and it's a tiny town and then he ends up. Helping this lady run a diner outside. He like was driving to New York and then plot device came along until he got to crash his car on the side of the road, and get towed to this tiny town called Aurora. Oh my gosh.

Jeremy 5:04

So the town's called, Aurora, it's even got a princess name. This is like...

Liz 5:07

Yeah, yeah. It's great.

Jeremy 5:09

Tailored.

Liz 5:09

It's how you know.

Jeremy 5:10

Oh man.

Liz 5:11

So I could go on forever. I'll keep you updated. And then Jeremy. Oh my God. I just remembered that the, so when the Princess Switch, Switched Again, there's the scene right? Where there's like the Christmas prince and princess, the ceremony from another franchise. But then I rewatched the Princess Switch, numero uno, the first one. And there's on this romantic couch moment talking about, oh, that's your favorite Christmas movie. And it is A Christmas Prince on Netflix. It shows the screen and they're watching it! So it's in the world, but also extended universe within a documentary about how this prince and the secret journalist met.

Jeremy 5:48

This is like staring in two mirrors facing each other and it goes forever. This is the infinite universe of the princess Christmas story or the prince, whatever the royalty...

Liz 5:57

The Secret Christmas prince. Yeah, it goes on forever. We are all Christmas prince now.

Jeremy 6:04

My mind is blown.

Liz 6:06

As it should be welcome. Welcome to the obsession that is Christmas prince and princess.

Jeremy 6:13

We need to do a tally of how many of these movies there are just to get some data points.

Liz 6:17

Yeah. Well, there was a review a couple of years ago and there were 17 that she watched Buzzfeed or something, so I'll report back in.

Jeremy 6:25

Yes.

Liz 6:26

This is very carefully careening towards the entire podcast being about Christmas Prince.

Jeremy 6:30

We probably should get into the story.

Liz 6:32

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So speaking of Christmas princes let me tell you about a story that I have. As, as the nature of this podcast, I'm going to share with you a very personal and probably embarrassing story of my life. And this is when, my family met someone I was dating and I need to protect the innocent. So we should come up with a name.

Jeremy 6:54

Like a pseudonym.

Liz 6:55

Pseudonym. And then if I mess up, please beep it out.

Jeremy 6:59

Yeah.

Liz 6:59

Uh, what would be a good pseudonym for this person

Jeremy 7:05

Galactus! Galactus!

Liz 7:07

Wait, Galactus?

Jeremy 7:08

Galactus,

Liz 7:08

Galac, Galac,..Like, like Marvel. Okay. So Marvel comics Galactus. Please don't sue us Marvel. Marvel comics Galactus who is a villain who like, doesn't he eat planets? Isn't he like a billion times...

Jeremy 7:23

No? You don't think so?

Liz 7:24

Bigger? We'll wait. Okay. What, who, who is Galactus?

Jeremy 7:29

That planet eater. I think he ate planets. I just remember him being, he had the silver surfer running around. He had some spiky, big, big purple alien.

Liz 7:39

Oh, he's the one with the like purple antler hat.

Jeremy 7:41

Yeah.

Liz 7:42

Okay. Okay. Okay. I think he was maybe like a secret villain in one of the horrible, fantastic four. movies. Yes. Yes. So with the silver surfer. Oh, that's I mean, that's perfect. I, this person will never listen to this podcast and never know that I was calling him a giant monster who eats... planet. Okay. Galactus eats planets. And that is the name of my

Jeremy 8:08

I can't believe you went for it.

Liz 8:10

Yeah, well, yes. And it's a yes and podcasts. I believe in the and?

Jeremy 8:19

We're going to make this work.

Liz 8:21

I can call it Gally or something. Like I need it

Jeremy 8:23

Is Galactus too much for you?

Liz 8:25

No, oh no Let's not He. Okay. So Gally, so Galactus, my new boyfriend, kind of, Galactus. And galactus, if you are offended, please write in.

Jeremy 8:38

If you need to do a nickname? That's fine. I, I totally get it.

Liz 8:41

No, that's fine. This is the story of how my parents met my new boyfriend, Galactus.

Jeremy 8:49

Eater of planets!

Liz 8:51

I mean, don't judge him by his size. Wow. Okay. Here we go. It was Easter. This is many years ago. Maybe I was 19, no, 20. I don't know. It was say I was early twenties-ish,

Jeremy 9:06

Your early twenties.

Liz 9:07

My early twenties, yes! Which were in the early 1920s. Yes, I was a flapper. It was a good time, right before the crash.

Jeremy 9:15

In a speakeasy!

Liz 9:16

Yes, exactly! I met Galactus at a speakeasy, he barely fit. No, my early twenties and it was Easter Sunday. My family celebrates Easter. So there was going to be like a whole spread of food and obviously Easter baskets and the whole thing.

Jeremy 9:31

Easter eggs?

Liz 9:32

Easter eggs. Yeah, I'm sure. Well, I had missed the initial part because that was the time where I was working a lot in community theater. So I was working as sort of backstage hand or maybe I was a production manager. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I was a person who was there backstage and then there to tear down cause strike had been scheduled for this Easter Sunday.

Jeremy 9:51

You were a striker.

Liz 9:51

Yeah. So I was, I would strike the stage, which means to take down all the stuff on the stage and pack it up and, you know, make sure the theaters ready to go for whatever next group is coming in.

Jeremy 10:00

Or no St. Patrick's Day. No, that's that's before, dang it. What holiday comes after Easter?

Liz 10:06

Nothing. And then summer. And then winter.

Jeremy 10:12

So you were striking it down.

Liz 10:14

Yes. Thank you. So so my job was then to strike it down and I was going to finish. And then go see my family. I had started this kind of new relationship with Galactus

Jeremy 10:24

How did you meet Galactus?

Liz 10:26

Well, Galactus and I, or Gally as I like to call him. His name is not Galactus! Don't say that! Cause that's the first warning girl's if his name is Galactus. No, he Galactus worked in theater as well. And so it had worked to help with the installation of the scenery. Anyway, he was there at that strike as well.

Jeremy 10:47

So he was like backstager, he's not like the person on stage.

Liz 10:50

No, no. He's a backstage person. Yeah, we're too cool for those actors. Those thespians, no actors are great, please don't hurt me. Yeah, so Galactus and I were working together to tear down the scenery, you know, I should back up and say that. I love chocolate and it was Easter, which means that there was a lot of chocolate available everywhere all the time.

Jeremy 11:11

That's...they get you. they get you!

Liz 11:13

Yeah, but it's part of how I may manage that process, I don't know, because I just felt like if I drank a lot of water, I wouldn't feel too gross.

Jeremy 11:22

So wait, you would say I can eat as much chocolate as long as I can drink water to like rinse it out?

Liz 11:28

It's just, it washes it through, through the system. A little wave of water. Imagine these little chocolate eggs just riding the wave.

Jeremy 11:36

Cadburry. Cadburry Eggs, right?

Liz 11:38

Yeah, that was part of it. I liked the smaller or ones to cream eggs. Not as much. I mean, I have to have one because it's traditional, you know, as in commercial tradition.

Jeremy 11:48

Because the TV tells us to, come on right!

Liz 11:50

Exactly. And then the bawk, bawk rabbit. Exactly. So you get it. So I probably didn't eat it, but I had like a bag of candy and then I had a literal gallon jug of water.

Jeremy 12:03

Was this on stage? Where does the Gally come in? Or is it just like, is this more of a gallon story?

Liz 12:11

I thought you were like galley. Like where's the kitchen.

Jeremy 12:12

I can call him Galctus if you want.

Liz 12:14

Yeah, that might be easier. You know what? You don't know him. He's Galactus to you, to his friends.

Jeremy 12:20

Are you sure I didn't ever meet him?

Liz 12:21

Okay. Now we're not going to talk about it. No, I don't know if you've ever met. You don't know anyone named Galactus. So anyway, we're ending this call.

Jeremy 12:29

This just got real.

Liz 12:31

Okay. So I had a gallon of water that I was like drinking straight out of the jug, hardcore style backstage while eating candy while doing whatever people do backstage, like moving props or whatever.

Jeremy 12:43

Actually doing work or not?

Liz 12:44

Yeah. Yeah. Well, during the show and then the show was over then I was tearing stuff down. But I had been drinking this jug of water to be like got this whole chocolate thing solved. This is healthy now. Right? So we, we're tearing down the set and I was crouched, unscrewing something from the floor of the stage. And behind me a a wall fell. There was a doorframe that had been one of the walls and it fell and it hit me on the back of the neck.

Jeremy 13:12

Wait, this was a theater prop wall. So those are those thin balsa wood walls.

Liz 13:16

Yeah, the walls are, but the walls are, but the frame for the door was a lot stronger because you need more stability to stand up if you're a frame. So it was also just that hit me in the back of the neck. I just spoilers I'm alive, but it turned out. Okay. I was not permanently injured, but something hit my neck and I kinda. I don't know if I passed out or what, but I was very unresponsive for a little bit, and maybe I was just in shock. So everyone's like, Oh no. So they call an ambulance and worried about the whole neck head areas.

Jeremy 13:51

Yeah, you don't mess with that.

Liz 13:51

Yeah. You don't fuck around when that gets hit. So, this is where it sets up. The plans for my Easter have completely changed. Now, remember Galactus was not invited to my family's Easter dinner because they had not met him. We were just

Jeremy 14:05

And, wait, by now you had been on how many dates or how many casual encounters?

Liz 14:10

Well, I, you know, Ah, like,

Jeremy 14:13

One to three?

Liz 14:17

Like, well, it depends on how you count them. Like, if you, like, if I like basically live there for the weekend, is that like one date?

Jeremy 14:23

That's like five dates. Five dates.

Liz 14:24

Or is that, like. So it had been probably a month-ish

Jeremy 14:30

In normalized dating time.

Liz 14:32

In normalize, dating time it was like six months.

Jeremy 14:36

Wow. Ok. The trajectory on that is intense.

Liz 14:38

Yeah. At that stage we could even get into how young and intense Liz was about her dating. But this isn't, it. Galactus just was a nice guy and I enjoyed spending time with him.

Jeremy 14:47

So six months together in normal time one month in Liz time. I mean, this is getting pretty serious.

Liz 14:53

No, no other way. Human time. It was one month, but I spent so much time with him. Some people it's just really intense period time, but my parents hadn't met him and I was not ready for, I mean, how do you introduce your parents to Galactus? Like, hi mom. Hi dad. Here's Galactus. Don't pay attention to that. He's about to leave the planet. Ignore the Silver Surfer. It's just the thing he does. There's was some people who are like,"I don't even... what? Comic books? This would be great." Anyway, Galactus, my boyfriend, not his real name. So he's concerned because he just watched his girlfriend get hit by scenery and I am unresponsive so we're calling an ambulance.

Jeremy 15:26

Were you guys on girlfriend boyfriend terminology at this point?

Liz 15:29

I don't think so.

Jeremy 15:32

Was this the defining the relationship moment?

Liz 15:34

I think we had to lock it down just because it's like, ah, the ambulance is coming and I know

Jeremy 15:40

And he's gotta do someting. He needs to get in that truck with them.

Liz 15:42

Yeah. It's true. Like if I want to get man.

Jeremy 15:45

Right, if i'm going to see this through. I got to give them something we're more than just friends.

Liz 15:49

Have a wall fall on you and that's how you can really lock in their relationship.

Jeremy 15:53

Really define it. What are we?

Liz 15:53

That's a good point. I did not appreciate that, Jeremy. Wow. That really solidified our relationship in Galactus.

Jeremy 16:00

Totally. Yeah. You need those, those defining moments. Every good romance has that ugh something crazy is happening.

Liz 16:06

Exactly. And so that was our defining moment. So they call an ambulance. Ambulance comes I bit my tongue when the wall fell. So my tongue hurt a lot, but. It was...

Jeremy 16:19

Stayed on?

Liz 16:20

It's still there. You can tell. But it's funny you say that. So they or how do we call your family? And so they call my parents the EMT, or whoever came called my parents to tell them Hey, your daughter, you're expecting her. Cause also like not quite boyfriend status where he would be the one to call my family, right.

Jeremy 16:38

This is Easter day. Sorry, I'm just catching up. Is this Easter Day? So you're supposed to be having Easter. Whatever dinner...

Liz 16:45

Dinner like yeah right after they had moved the schedule, they moved the dinner to accommodate for the fact that I was tearing down the theater.

Jeremy 16:51

And saved you all the chocolate. So you could still have more chocolate.

Liz 16:54

More chocolate. Exactly. And like brownies and desserts. Our family would go all out for Easter. Exactly. So it's Easter Sunday. I bit my tongue I'm call my mom. Cause again, Galactus doesn't, doesn't really know my parents or my family, and they don't know him. So like some weird a guy who's like a giant weird guy named Galactus.

Jeremy 17:15

Was he big? Was he taller? How tall was he?

Liz 17:18

He's not that tall. It just stop it. You're not gonna like, are, you human male nickname Galactus. So it was some point where I didn't feel comfortable with him calling my parents to be like,"Hey, what's up." And I think I must have been in college and living with my parents because I think there's more to it than that,

Jeremy 17:39

So did your parents even know there was somebody involved or not?

Liz 17:43

No, they didn't, but they made it, they wondered. Cause if I was, if I was living with them, then there would be like nights that I would not come home. Or weekends, as you've mentioned. So they must have. Yeah. I don't know. It all gets fuzzy. I'm sure I was incredibly responsible young person. Whatever answer is, the best, that's what happened. Rewrite history.

Jeremy 18:05

So guys in it with you in the ambulance truck, or did he, did he get in the ambulance truck?

Liz 18:09

No, no, we're not to the ambulance. Yes. But this isn't even where the story starts or they haven't met yet. So then I should just get to

Jeremy 18:18

This is going to be such a podcast.

Liz 18:20

I know! This is a great story though, because then they call my mom and they're like, the EMT is like, I'm still at the stage I haven't gone to the hospital yet. They're like,"Hey, your daughter had an accident. She has a severe tongue laceration. And we're taking her to the hospital." Now, my mom and I instant who I imagined like on the phone, like holding a wooden spoon stirring, something for Thanksgiving at that moment dramatically drops the spoon and imagines my tongue, half hanging off with a severe tongue laceration is."My daughter will no longer speak."

Jeremy 18:51

It's Easter! The first thing I thought was, did you bite your tongue off? Oh my!

Liz 18:58

The severe tongue. Exactly. And then they said, do you want to talk to her too? Which my mom was like,"Oh, okay, well she's going to talk. She probably still has a tongue."

Jeremy 19:06

It's probably fine. I'll just get that spoon off the ground and just keep stirring with it.

Liz 19:10

Just pick that spoon back up. I'll be fine. It's only been in the ground for a little bit. I'll keep stirring with it.

Jeremy 19:13

Five second rule, let's go.

Liz 19:14

Five second rule. Exactly. It's just, it's my youngest daughter, she's the backup. So I talked to my mom and I was, and then she said, I remember that she said,"you'll do anything to get out of Easter dinner," ha ha, which was very sweet of her to be like, I'm going to just be chill about this, which reminds me of where I get my chill from when it comes to emergencies. I do not get it from the rest of my family. So then they're like, where are you, what hospital, they were kind enough to like, what's your insurance situation. So we knew exactly where I was going to go. I get in the ambulance. I do not really remember the ambulance ride. I get at the hospital. Oh, now. Okay. On the way to the ambulance they're like"Liz might have a back injury or a neck injury. We want to lock her down until we can check it." So they're like bring out...

Jeremy 19:59

No

Liz 19:59

the board, so there's this giant. It's just what you would expect a stretcher to be, but it doesn't move. It's the thing that I think that they lift people out of

Jeremy 20:11

Like of severe accidents, right?

Liz 20:14

Right. Exactly. Yeah.

Jeremy 20:15

Did they bandage you up too? That would be awesome.

Liz 20:17

Well, no, they tied me to this board, so I couldn't move the goal being, we want you to flat and straight. So the board itself doesn't move and it goes up, you know it's bed length. It's Liz length. And then they strap me down. So I can't even turn my head or my neck, which is the point. Right. We don't want, if you're injured. Yeah, exactly. So they're like, well, and I'm feeling like whatever

Jeremy 20:38

And Galactus is here. Is he in is he there? Is he freaking out.

Liz 20:41

No, no he's cool.

Jeremy 20:43

Is he chill just like your mom?

Liz 20:44

Yeah. Yeah. He's like. He can handle it. He knows he's got this. And also there's professionals here. I don't know. Maybe when I was put in the ambulance and he went to drive in his car, he then freaked out. I mean, maybe he got right in ambulance, but I don't remember, but he at least had a good client facing reaction to me to see, Oh, you're super calm versus when my family came, but my sisters were like so worried and I was like, leave everyone! Everyone Has super powers. Some of them are good under pressure. So we get to the hospital. I get wheeled in we're in the emergency room, which means that there is a little thin. Like thinnest sheet that is a curtain.

Jeremy 21:27

See through?

Liz 21:28

Yeah. Almost see through, in fact if the light is that the right way I can see through. It's the thinnest of sheets, it gets, it gets torn, like put around me so I have my own quote, unquote, air quotes, privacy in my space because there's stuff going on And I imagine this giant room with a bunch of these little curtains to make little, you know, mini-, mini-room pods

Jeremy 21:49

And heaven forbid there's like a crack in any of them. And you can't even get up to do a thing.

Liz 21:54

I know exactly because it's, at that moment, I realized strapped to this board. I've been drinking gallons of water.

Jeremy 22:00

So did you have to pee?

Liz 22:01

And so I had to pee so bad!

Jeremy 22:04

Take that hydration!

Liz 22:05

I was like, why! Why did I do that? Why did I drink? Why!? Why did I eat all that chocolate?

Jeremy 22:13

Did you pee your pants?

Liz 22:14

No, I didn't.

Jeremy 22:15

Are you sure?

Liz 22:16

I...

Jeremy 22:17

Your voice says you didn't, but...

Liz 22:18

no, no. I just, the story of how I got to the point is the story that I've been trying to tell my need to pee is a big plot point to the story, the story, it's just a key point in the Galactus meets my parents' story. So I'm strapped to this board and I can't move. And I realized all of a sudden, I think all the adrenaline and everything, and I'm in the hospital and now it's just, we wait until whoever can come and start checking my back to make sure it's not broken. And I'm like, I gotta pee. And, I just very

Jeremy 22:50

Was it like, I have to pee now?

Liz 22:52

Oh, yeah. I'm like,

Jeremy 22:53

We're about to explode.

Liz 22:53

I'm in physical pain and I'm like, no, this we gotta, and they're like, well, we can't let you move. And so then this, this nurse, which over the years, I've come to give her I don't know, forgiveness or grace or whatever it is to be like, she probably had a lot going on that day and the last thing she needed was like some spoiled Easter girl. Who's like, I got pee!

Jeremy 23:16

Why do you feel like you need to give her grace? Was she not gonna let you pee?

Liz 23:18

No, cause she was just, she did not have a great bedside manner. So then I was like, I need to go to the bathroom. And they're like, well, we can't move you because we think your back is broken or whatever. You know, the fact that I urgently need to pee is actually a good sign that my body was doing, what it was supposed to do. So they're like, well, we have to use a bed pan too, which thankfully Galactus was kindly like, I'm just going to go wait in the lobby.

Jeremy 23:44

Did they just like, turn you upside down lik a skewer?

Liz 23:49

Yeah, that would be amazing. No, but because of, I don't even remember what it was, just scare me around. I slowly turned like, like a stuffed pig

Jeremy 23:58

I imagine you on a big spit, you know, they're just like turning you around like...

Liz 24:00

With an Apple in my mouth. Yeah, that would be, that would have been better.

Jeremy 24:05

Like that one Pirates of the Caribbean scene, you know.

Liz 24:07

Exactly where they urinate right there. It's great. I did not watch the same movie. Apparently. So I forgot one of the things that they, for whatever reason, maybe because of my back or what, but they had me at a slight incline. I felt like I was 45 degrees pointing in the air with my legs pointing up.

Jeremy 24:29

You're there with your butt in the air?

Liz 24:31

No, I'm I'm on my back and I felt like the bed itself was angled up. So my legs are like going, climbing towards the ceiling.

Jeremy 24:41

You're going to go to the bathroom like that? It's like a gushing river in the wrong way...

Liz 24:44

Yeah, right. Cause gravity. Right. So I have to imagine it wasn't as intense of an angle as I assume, because the nurse wasn't that cruel.

Jeremy 24:57

Was she not? Are you sure?

Liz 24:59

I don't know. So it felt like it was my, my legs were pointing to they're done. My legs were pointing up. It wasn't just flat. It was a little bit up in the air. And of course. Pointed out because I had, you know towards this

Jeremy 25:11

Were you wearing pants?

Liz 25:13

I was, but she's like, okay, you gotta have a bedpan. And so she puts it under me and I'm like I don't know if I can and she's like, Oh, and then she unbuttons my pants and just ripped them down to my legs or as much as you can with me laying there. Cause she's used to, you need to use a bedpan. You need to take your pants off.

Jeremy 25:28

But you're still angled that other direction. Right?

Liz 25:32

Yeah, so it's like moving my pants down and, up, up, up my legs a little bit just to make it so that

Jeremy 25:39

Are you on your stomach or are you on your back?

Liz 25:42

I'm I'm on my back. I'm on my back and, and bed pans have a little bit of like a lip. Yeah. There's like a lid receptacle. So that yeah, if you put it in there and then,

Jeremy 25:55

It gets the dribble.

Liz 25:58

Ewww, but yeah. So yeah, no, I'm like, please, I need to so badly

Jeremy 26:05

Wouldn't the pee go through your bottom?

Liz 26:10

Well, I think, I think my theory is also you may not be as well versed on female anatomy or at least my, my particular one.

Jeremy 26:22

I'm going to keep this one clean, unlike some other people here

Liz 26:25

Ok, yes. Well, on the particular Liz anatomy, it's different. If that sounds terrible. That is why I think that they couldn't have been at an actual angle that was so extreme that gravity would have done that. I think that it just felt that way, but it did feel like I was now with my,

Jeremy 26:42

Pee up your body.

Liz 26:43

Well, head to the wall, my legs outword facing towards this thin sheet and up in the air, like I'm ready to launch, like, a rocket that goes at one of those angles, ready to launch with now my pants pulled down to my knees. It was probably, yeah,

Jeremy 26:57

What's this nurse's name? Do we know her name? Do you remember her name?

Liz 27:00

No nurse,

Jeremy 27:01

Sally. I feel like Sally is just like.

Liz 27:04

Yeah, Sally, the nurse, I think she had a bad day because she was just like, whatever, you know? Cause I was like, I can't, cause I don't, my pants were still on. I was like, logistically we have issues here. So then she pulls down my pants, has no time for this. I'm sure there was somebody like, code blue or whatever in another room that was like dying and I'm like

Jeremy 27:25

Who needed some real help other than I just got to pee and I can't pee in my pants.

Liz 27:28

All about, yeah, it's me. So now I am pants down to my ankles, pointed up and out with a bed pan and I'm like, I

Jeremy 27:37

Hello world!

Liz 27:38

I tried, I don't know why I didn't feel like the safest person.

Jeremy 27:43

And you've got those thin tissue paper sheets, right?

Liz 27:46

Right. I could see people's shadows walking by and then I'm like, okay let me

Jeremy 27:51

And they can probably hear everything.

Liz 27:53

Well, that's what I'm thinking. So, so I was like, if she comes back, are you done? And I was like, no, I wasn't able to because I can't, whatever. So then she turns, she turns, I don't, I don't know what I wish she wasn't soothing me into comfort where I felt like a newborn babe comfort and special bedside manner. No, it was the worst. But then she turned on the sink cause there was a sink behind me and I was like, Oh, okay. One. She's done this before. She's tried to create some extra sound so I'm not self-conscious. So then I'm like, ugh, let's do this.

Jeremy 28:26

It's like psychological, right? It gets you. Oh, your water. I got pee,

Liz 28:29

Yeah, exactly. I'm just I'll fall asleep. Put my hand in warm water or whatever that trick is. Just trying to think. Cause I I'm in pain because I have to go so bad because again, chocolate jug of water.

Jeremy 28:38

You have serious pee anxiety.

Liz 28:40

Yeah. Well, who wouldn't? Cause you're facing the world so at this point where water is going, yes, I am legged down legs projecting upward and out, pants down. Metal, bedpan under me, me trying to pee at that moment. I see shadows come up and I see oh you must be You must, you must be Galactus. You must be Galactus. Are you Mr. and Mrs. Smith? Seriously, that is the moment when Galatus met my parents. That's what I am like, I could see their shadow

Jeremy 29:10

Spread eagle, spread eagle.

Liz 29:13

Trying to pee upwards into a metal tin towards the sheet, strapped to a board. Like I can't even like cover my eyes and embarrassment the closest thing I can do is at least shut my eyes. And I'm like, this is awesome.

Jeremy 29:26

So, are you literally witnessing your parents, meeting your

Liz 29:29

Galactus.

Jeremy 29:31

Boyfriend-ish thing and while you're trying to pee?

Liz 29:35

Well, it, yes, except for at that moment, I no longer had a plan of trying to pee it just was not going to happen. If I had, I was gun shy. With strangers around now, my entire, and then like my sisters come up and so there's like my entire family

Jeremy 29:50

Were the curtains going to get pulled. Like I would be oh my gosh better not pull the curtains. This is like, Shit's gonna hit the fan. Like I'm going to be out here. This is going to be a disaster.

Liz 30:00

Yeah. Or the pee's gonna hit the curtain!

Jeremy 30:03

Or the pee's gonna that's what you're worried about.

Liz 30:07

Yeah. That's like that old phrase we all use

Jeremy 30:09

My spray is going to get on the curtain. Oh my gosh!

Liz 30:14

So I'm like I'm strapped to the board, so I can't move and I'm freaking out because this already horribly awkward moment of like, Oh, I been having sex with your daughter. Oh, you must be glad to be with Liz. Because that's how you, you know,

Jeremy 30:28

Hi, I'm sleeping with your daughter. Nice to meet you, parents.

Liz 30:31

Nice to meet you. Oh, also I remember Galactus later feeling bad because he felt like I, he was like, well, I didn't take very good care of their daughter because the first time I meet them, she's also horribly injured possibly. And that I was a part of what was happening. Yeah, exactly. I was like, okay. Galctus, I'm my own person, but I could see how that would not be your great first impression. But I had other things to think about at that moment. Cause strapped to board pointed, upward, trying to pee upstream, trying to pee up and out and the curtains. So there's this moment of like, if you were in this situation, Jeremy, I want you to answer this if you were in that situation. And by the way, I there's an anatomy thing that I'm very jealous about right now, but let's get past that. If you're in a similar situation facing out. Would you, Say, Hey, excuse me. To get someone to come and like zip up the things, or would you be worried if you said, Hey, excuse me, then the person would open the curtain and look in and now reveal you to the world.

Jeremy 31:24

That is a damned if you do, damned if you don't there's no winning that equation, right there. I would be reaching for blankets or something. Just to pull over myself.

Liz 31:33

Stapped to the board, could not do anything. I mean, maybe if I like everything is strapped in. I could like blink.

Jeremy 31:43

And Sally's gone,

Liz 31:45

Sally has abandoned me and I'm just like, okay, maybe this, just listen to the cool water streaming in the faucet, because maybe that is the only calming. So fortunately, fortunately Sally came back and I was like, this is not happen.

Jeremy 32:00

The curtains remain drawn. Is that what you're saying?

Liz 32:02

Yeah, she was. Annoyed that I did not. She went to all this effort to pull down my pants and put a bedpan there and I did not use it. She was like offended. I'm sure she's just having a bad day. So then she undoes that cause I'm like this isn't happening, please. My family is here. Please, I beg of you!

Jeremy 32:18

Not now. I'd rather my bladder explode!

Liz 32:22

At that point, peeing, my pants sounded like one of the good options. This means I would have pants on. Oh, so then pants go up bedpans removes. Galactus is invited back in. And I don't know if my parents came in. I think they went out to the lobby. My family went to the lobby, but that moment will always be in my mind of how Galactus met my new boyfriend while I was vulnerably upwards pee mode. But what, how that story actually, see that's

Jeremy 32:56

That could have blown up, that could've been real,

Liz 32:59

Yeah, everywhere. It could have gone. Everywhere.

Jeremy 33:02

Everything could have gone everywhere.

Liz 33:03

I mean, it felt like so much was at stake. if someone had sneezed at the wrong time, my curtains would have blown open and I would just be there like laaaa!

Jeremy 33:17

All you would have us your eyes, you would just have your eyes, right? That's all you could move was your eyes.

Liz 33:24

Do I close my eyes and pretend I'm sleeping and you don't see me like that will save my embarrasment. Do I make a funny face, well, that's life, you know, like what, how do I own this or not own this? And fortunately, I didn't have to figure that out shortly afterwards. I just then started complaining. So hardcore that they got annoyed because I had to pee that they came in and they liked flipped, the board over, put me on my stomach, removed the board and then did this tappy tap thing on my back leg. Okay. You can feel, and then I was like clear to go. And then I went to the bathroom, but it was like...

Jeremy 33:57

Gosh, could you not

Liz 34:00

well, I mean, maybe someone was in more need rather than the girl complaining,"I need to go to the bathroom". This guy's dying of a heart attack yeah, but like, her parents are here and that curtain super thin,

Jeremy 34:11

The girl ate too much chocolate and drank too much water.

Liz 34:14

Ah drank too much water.

Jeremy 34:15

Let her deal with her own.

Liz 34:16

That's right. And since that day I have not been able to drink wate hahahaha

Jeremy 34:21

hahahahah Moral of the story is don't drink too much water.

Liz 34:25

Did she drink too much water or is that. Yes. So that is the story of how Galactus met my family. my family brought some food.

Jeremy 34:35

How did Easter go? Did you get easter at all? Did you...

Liz 34:38

I did it. I remember them bringing in Easter brownies and I think maybe I got a brownie, but then they forgot and left them in the lobby. Like the little Tupperware thing of brownies in the lobby and then when they went back my sister said that she went to go pick it up and saw this. Thing that was empty. And there was this guy who looked like he wasn't quite all there and he was just kind of staring off into space going. Those are the best brownies I've ever had. So some guy on the lawn took the brownies and ate them. But she was like, he seemed like he was having a bad day. It was better for him.

Jeremy 35:15

He'll appreciate them more.

Liz 35:16

That's the best food I've ever had in my life and ever will have. Slowly back away. I'm glad I can help you now. I have to get back to this awkward conversation with Galactus. Boy!

Jeremy 35:29

But I think the real question is how long did that relationship last?

Liz 35:33

Well, me and Galactus. Duh! Broke up with him next day. No, no one could ever know me and that vulnerability. I had him taken off the face of the earth. No witnesses No, if only I think Galactus and I dated for an extended period of time.

Jeremy 35:52

So it didn't, it actually did not hinder your relationship at all.

Liz 35:56

No, I know, but it didn't really end up working out. It took a little while to figure that out, but maybe that was the moment for Galactus to be like, yeah.

Jeremy 36:09

Or maybe trauma bonding.

Liz 36:10

Trauma bonding! It was tramatic! It was very traumatic. Ahhh, Oh man.

Jeremy 36:20

Ha ha.

Liz 36:22

It's just, yeah. Cause when I, I bet when I said severe tongue laceration you're like, wow, Liz almost looses her tongue. No, no, no.

Jeremy 36:27

That's not even.

Liz 36:28

The story is really about a gallon of water.

Jeremy 36:32

That's the, that's the real culprit that's the real villain here. The gallon of water!

Liz 36:37

I feel like it's the gallon of water or the chocolate, how dare.

Jeremy 36:40

That damn nurse, Sally. But I'm glad you, I'm glad you moved beyond that. And you've been able to process Sally and her emotions and your feelings and you know

Liz 36:51

I built like I burned burnt an effigy of her so I could let go and release. This that's not true, but now I feel like I have telling you this story has been helping me process my anger for the angry lady pulling down my pants. Cause like, I don't even remember what she looked like. I just remember her

Jeremy 37:14

You weren't trauma bonding with Galactus. You were trauma bonding, Sally,

Liz 37:18

No, no, I'm done with Sally, Sally and I are through hahahahaha Galactus.

Jeremy 37:28

Sally has seen a side of you that nobody has.

Liz 37:29

That is true. It was me and Sally in that room. If you could call it a room, a little tunnel created by a thin curtain

Jeremy 37:38

Thin tissue paper curtains.

Liz 37:39

thin tissue paper curtan when it's wrapped in a circle. So there is my story for this episode.

Jeremy 37:47

That is your story.

Liz 37:48

Yeah.

Jeremy 37:49

Insane. I have no idea how I'm ever going to come up with stories like that.

Liz 37:53

No, well, I can tell you start off with a gallon of water.and some Chocolate. Get one of your girls to come up behind you and smack you with a baseball bat.

Jeremy 38:03

And a really intense, super quick relationship. That's not yet defined.

Liz 38:07

That's not yet defined.

Jeremy 38:07

That nobody knows about.

Liz 38:09

He may still be single. aaaaaaaah Maybe he's met somebody backstage. I know. I really feel like Galactus. If, if he was going to date somebody it would be like the Silver Surfer, he's got the pointy ear hat helmet, right. With the, yeah. Yeah.

Jeremy 38:26

And he's purple.

Liz 38:28

Kind of, I mean, really Thanos this has got the number on purple, but.

Jeremy 38:32

That's true. Well, the purple skin but not like the purple outfit with the...

Liz 38:36

Yeah, with the. Uhhh. Do you think they've upped? I haven't really read the comics since the nineties.

Jeremy 38:41

They didn't update him in the Lego Marvel game.

Liz 38:44

Oh wow. Welcome to our inside Marvel comic books from the nineties with Liz and Jer podcast. Kiki.

Jeremy 38:53

Totally. Thanks for listening to tell that one story, everybody. This has been a podcast from Jeremy and...

Liz 38:58

liz!

Jeremy 38:59

Join us again soon. And in the meantime, go make a story.

Liz 39:03

Go make a story.

Jeremy 39:04

Go make a story.