Liz starts a new job and hopes to make a big splash at the company-wide Thanksgiving Breakfast. Except she's never made breakfast for dozens of people before in a corporate office and makes a terrible mistake and before she knows it, she's face to face with a truck load of steamy firefighters asking her what's going on. Can she talk her way out of this one? Will the company's first hire in two years last past the 8 week mark?
Liz starts a new job and hopes to make a big splash at the company-wide Thanksgiving Breakfast. Except she's never made breakfast for dozens of people before in a corporate office and makes a terrible mistake and before she knows it, she's face to face with a truck load of steamy firefighters asking her what's going on. Can she talk her way out of this one? Will the company's first hire in two years last past the 8 week mark?
Episode 5_ The Office Brunch
Jeremy: [00:00:00] Hello, the story you are about to hear is true, or at least mostly true. You have been warned.
Liz: [00:00:23] Welcome to tell that one story an anecdotal podcast to brighten your day. I'm your co-host Liz
Jeremy: [00:00:30] and I'm Jeremy
Liz: [00:00:31] and how's it going Jeremy?
Jeremy: [00:00:32] It's been going pretty good. Made it through the holidays. I survived.
Liz: [00:00:35] Yeah, me too. Do you have, how many Christmas Prince movies did you watch?
Jeremy: [00:00:41] So we're going to go there.
I watched none, although I will actually, I have a confession.
Liz: [00:00:46] Oh, I like confessions.
Jeremy: [00:00:47] I did not watch a Christmas Prince movie, but I did try to search and find a DVD. Yeah. DVD for you, but you are right. You cannot buy these. All you can ever do is download them. You can purchase them for download. But there's no way I can buy a DVD and send it to you.
Liz: [00:01:08] Well, not legally. So it's really your own limitation, but if you didn't have a chance to absorb all 20 plus Christmas Prince movies, what did you end up watching?
Jeremy: [00:01:22] So, so actually me and my girls are creative writing some stuff on the side. I don't want to cross pollinate cheesy.
Liz: [00:01:29] I have allergies. Achoo.
Jeremy: [00:01:30] And one somebody who has read.
Well, some of our stories actually recommended that we check out this show called KIPO on Netflix.
Liz: [00:01:38] And the age of the wonder beasts I love Kipo. It's amazing. It's like the most adorable little monsters and so much sassy attitude. Oh, it's so good.
Jeremy: [00:01:48] It is. So it is, I'll be honest. It is very weird. It's a very weird show to really wrap your head around because you don't know.
There's just, there's just so much odd stuff going on. I don't know where
you can't
Liz: [00:01:59] I don't understand it. I don't like it. I don't, I can't put it. I can't put this in a little box for myself.
Jeremy: [00:02:04] You can't place it. You can't place what reality is. But after the first episode I had to watch the next one because the characters are.
Really well done. They're just really interesting people. And they're funny. It keeps you laughing really hard, especially that the main character she's just, so you've seen it. Right. You know, the main character, how would you describe her?
Liz: [00:02:27] Kipo is like a teenager, but sassy and like annoyingly positive. Yes.
That's it. They're in a world and there's this environment she goes into, that's incredibly dangerous. She's like, okay, I'm going to go out on my own and do it. And then she almost dies multiple times. And yeah, they're like kills herself all the time with the power of positive thinking. So then she's paired up with her polar opposite.
Who's like, everything's trying to kill you. And everything's the worst. So that banter back and forth is hilarious and, uh, I love it. And then she, she has an adorable little pig friend.
Jeremy: [00:03:00] Yeah. So the premise, and I don't think it's like, give it away for people who are listening. It's a post-apocalyptic show, right?
Like it's, it's after the apocalypse and it's animated and it's kind of that funny, interesting.
Liz: [00:03:11] It's kind of an anime style, but it's yeah. It's Netflix produced.
Jeremy: [00:03:14] Yeah, my gosh. So you can't place the character like the world, and yet she goes out into this post-apocalyptic world with all this positivity.
And it's just really dark yet. She's super happy. And then she kind of wins everybody over. She's starting to win people over with this energy she has and this humor.
Liz: [00:03:33] Right. And music, always music there's singing.
Jeremy: [00:03:36] Oh, that's. Yeah. And like, I think every episode has a significant or a song that happens that you can tell people actually they're real singers.
Liz: [00:03:46] Yeah.
No, they're very talented. They definitely sing though, there is one episode where John Hodgman plays. A Wolf that raps. And I don't think he's a professional rapper. I know he's not, it's just so they rap about science. It just, it's like, it's hard to explain because it's just this weird, but science is also there.
Jeremy: [00:04:05] Yeah. And these
outlandish things that happen in your, like how is that even going to tie back? And you're just, you're part of that journey. You're like, this is crazy. And. Why would anybody ever do this kind of journey? Or why would anybody have this kind of concern? And all of a sudden it's real, you meet the characters that are in it, and they're, they're so lovable and funny or, or tragic and cute.
And then some random thing shows up beast of some crazy creation.
Liz: [00:04:32] They're wonder beasts. They don't necessarily make sense.
Jeremy: [00:04:34] Sense. They really don't.
Liz: [00:04:36] Example being the bees in this world, like buzz buzz bees are called dubstep bees, like electronic dance music, and they communicate through wubs wubs and flashing lights. Who even thinks of this?
Yeah. Were you on drugs? Probably but they were positive drugs. They were happy drugs. It, but it also, I, I started watching this show maybe about a year ago. Anyway, it was pre 2020, I think. Yes. So it was pre our version of the apocalypse. And it's weird how it seems to have more relevance in many ways, to me, of like approaching when things are falling apart with a positive attitude at the very least like, wow, our entire society hasn't collapsed and there aren't giant beasts running around.
So we're doing pretty good.
Jeremy: [00:05:23] That was part of
it. You watch it. And you're thinking, wow, this is pretty chaotic. And then all of a sudden you look out the window and you're like, eh, this could happen. I wouldn't be surprised.
Liz: [00:05:33] I could see that. Just, you know, this is just it's 50 years from now, or probably more
Jeremy: [00:05:39] or five.
Liz: [00:05:39] I also like how everyone still has cool haircuts and a serious attitude. And there's actually a great representation, like a diversity of characters and backgrounds and choices and stuff like that, which doesn't, hasn't happened a lot in cartoons that I grew up with.
Jeremy: [00:05:54] We only had simple cartoons back in my day.
Liz: [00:05:55] We only had simple cartoons.
Like the only, they only talk about violence like Tom and Jerry or Wiley coyote and the Roadrunner.
Jeremy: [00:06:03] Are you the one who told me that there were actual rules around Wiley coyote and the road runner.
Liz: [00:06:07] No, but it does not surprise me. They need rules in their world. Like the road runner can't speak.
Jeremy: [00:06:13] Obviously the coyote never wins.
Dang it, I need to look this up now because there are rules. Someone was telling me, like there were three or four rules that all animators had to follow when they were writing for Wiley Coyote.
Liz: [00:06:23] Okay. Well now you have your homework for our next episode. So write that down. Take notes in class, be a good podcaster and you'll get a gold star and a cookie.
Jeremy: [00:06:33] Mwahahahaha. Okay, you ready to get this started?
Liz: [00:06:37] I so ready. I realized right now I should have drank more coffee. So I'm going to pretend. Like I had more coffee. So I have a story to tell it's kind of a, it's not like a super, no one's urinating in this story or trying to,
Jeremy: [00:06:53] that one was epic, I swear,
Liz: [00:06:55] there are no severed pigs heads in this one.
So this story is just plain old. Embarrassing. So let me set the scene. It is the past. This is maybe a decade ago. I'm working at a company that let me see how detailed I want to go.
Jeremy: [00:07:11] Be careful. Don't share too much details to protect the innocent.
Liz: [00:07:15] They were never innocent.
Jeremy: [00:07:16] They were never innocent. Do I get to make up more fake names for this?
Liz: [00:07:21] Sure. Okay. I worked at a company that it doesn't really matter what they did. It was sort of like your regular office.
Jeremy: [00:07:29] Yeah. It's kind of boring. Right? Can we just say commercial real estate?
Liz: [00:07:33] Sure. I'm working at an office for a commercial real estate firm that sells houses that look like teapots.
Jeremy: [00:07:39] Can we call it Mrs.
Potts commercial real estate.
Liz: [00:07:42] Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. So anyway, either actually has no bearing on what I do other than this is before I actually was in my career. It started as a temp admin job and then became a full-time admin job where I was processing contracts.
Jeremy: [00:07:55] Just owned it like a boss.
Liz: [00:07:57] Yeah, well, I was really good at it until I got super bored of it.
And then I was less good at it. Cause I got super bored, uh, in classic Liz fashion. So Mrs. Potts was like, you know what? Kids, every year at this company, Liz, you may not know this because you're new. We have a pancake breakfast. That we do on the day before Thanksgiving to celebrate Thanksgiving. So somebody brings in a little griddle and they make pancakes and then it's like a potluck and we had a full kitchen too.
That helps. So like someone could make cinnamon rolls. Got it. You know, like the little tube, sausage, bacon. Yeah. The pancakes were really the star. Maybe you bring kind of orange juice. Jeremy what
Jeremy: [00:08:37] Were they shaped like a star? Or just circles?
Liz: [00:08:40] No now they are now in my memory, they are, it was stars and teapots pancakes. That's all.
Jeremy: [00:08:45] Were there crumpets?
Liz: [00:08:46] No, it wasn't that cool.
Jeremy: [00:08:48] It wasn't that intense?
Liz: [00:08:49] it was like a pancake breakfast, but with teapot. Okay. Jeremy. So, if you were invited to the office tea pot pancake party, what would you bring?
Jeremy: [00:09:00] If I was being devious, I would want to make bacon because I know how much that would smell.
Liz: [00:09:07] Oh yeah. See it's funny that you thought of that in advance that you're like aware of what would happen if that happened?
Jeremy: [00:09:15] People love bacon, my kids, and I hate making it because my whole place smells like bacon grease for at least six hours afterwards.
Liz: [00:09:23] Right, right, right.
Jeremy: [00:09:24] And so if I was feeling devious, I would make bacon. Cause everybody loves it.
But then nobody thinks about, Oh my gosh, the after smell and how pervasive it is afterwards for six hours. And it would kind of be like a ha ha I'm going on Thanksgiving.
Liz: [00:09:37] Yeah. Yeah. So that. I like, I like how you, that story works out for you and your hypothetical. What if perhaps you were like new at the company and like the lowest on the totem pole, like an admin or something.
And you're like, I'm going to do a special treat for everybody and make bacon.
Jeremy: [00:09:57] Well. Okay. So real, real Jeremy, not trying to be a little bit crazy or just.
Liz: [00:10:06] Do you want to tell my story? Cause you're real close
Jeremy: [00:10:08] so sorry.
Liz: [00:10:10] Oh my gosh.. This is amazing. That's all right. No, no, no. You answered the question, but I just think it's hilarious.
You're like, ah, I'll plot against them. And I was like, nah, that's not how it went for me. Go ahead.
Jeremy: [00:10:21] I don't know what I'd make. I might make like some kind of breakfast, deviled egg version where you can bring it ahead of time.
Liz: [00:10:26] Right, exactly something precooked. You bring it, maybe even. Bagels and cream cheese, if people are not into pancakes, hell even butter is a reasonable thing, but I'm like, Oh no, I'm going to show off because I want to suck up to everybody in the company.
And I'm like the I'm the newest person not that it matters. But it also is not like ready for a power move such as bacon time. You've already seen through like what could actually happen if you're like, cause. You are coming at it from a place of confidence that I did not have at that time. Or foresight. Right. Like
Jeremy: [00:10:57] I probably didn't have either.
Liz: [00:10:59] Yeah, no. So I'm like early twenties and I'm just like, I'm going to show everyone. I'm great. I'm going to do something that's extra work, but because I'm willing to work hard and everyone loves bacon. So I'm like, I'm going to bring bacon.
Jeremy: [00:11:12] You literally brought bacon?!
Liz: [00:11:15] I literally brought bacon.
Jeremy: [00:11:16] But you cooked it at home. Is that right? You brought,
Liz: [00:11:19] that would be the smart thing. I was like, they're going to have a skillet there.
Jeremy: [00:11:22] Oh s***! Did I take your story?
Liz: [00:11:25] No, you did. You did, but I love it. You didn't know this, which is great, but what I love is how you approached it as like, this is a really bad thing to do and will have a negative impact on everybody in a way that I did not foresee at all.
Um,
Jeremy: [00:11:41] We need a time out.
Liz: [00:11:42] OK, time out.
Jeremy: [00:11:43] We've got a time out I'm so sorry, what are we going to do, because I think I just, I feel like I just stole
Liz: [00:11:49] no, no, don't worry. No, you didn't
Jeremy: [00:11:50] we can roll with this?
Liz: [00:11:51] Oh yeah.Yeah, the story gets better. The story starts with the bacon.
Jeremy: [00:11:57] I'm I'm crying. I can't believe that that is what happened. So you're going to, you're like, Oh, this is a great idea!
I'll think of bacon and the whole thought of how bacon smells never occurred to you.
Liz: [00:12:07] Well, no, but like bacon smells good. Not the permeating light. Oh man. Yeah. It just like, maybe. So we start in the kitchen and there's a griddle. And so I was like, I'll cook, I'll use some of this. And then they're like, somebody else brought an extra griddle and I was like, great.
So one could be pancakes. One could be bacon, but now the kitchens. Really full. And so people are like, Oh, bacon smells great from my desk, I guess. You know, they're not really saying it there. I remember there being a sense of like, why are people hesitant about thanking me for bacon? And I think it was because they were like, they knew what was happening and where this was going to go.
And I was just like, Everybody Love Bacon!
Jeremy: [00:12:45] Gosh, there was a, there was a huge thing like 10 years ago where there was bacon everywhere. I feel like it was a movement where people had like bacon gloves. Let's eat bacon all the time.
Liz: [00:12:53] Bacon and cheese bacon. Well, I think, and I could be wrong. I look, we can look this up, but I think that is about time when the imitation bacon flavor was perfected.
So you could just get bacon flavor as an extract. And so then they were like bacon in everything! Bacon cookies, bacon!
Jeremy: [00:13:09] Floodgates were open.
Liz: [00:13:11] Fry bacon in your office. Oh my God. So Jeremy, I was like, Okay. I'm kind of clogging things up. Maybe we should move to a room with more space, sort of like great. You know, where, you know, where..
Jeremy: [00:13:21] You're moving the bacon around?!
Liz: [00:13:23] We're moving the bacon around, but we're also moving also the pancakes.
Jeremy: [00:13:26] No. No.
Liz: [00:13:26] So we were like, okay, well, where is there more space that nobody's using it at that, at that time, there was like a really big open room that was for like classes or conferences. And they had plenty of tables in there. So we moved the operation in there, plug it back in, turn on the bacon.
Jeremy: [00:13:40] You're moving the bacon smell around the office.
Liz: [00:13:43] Yeah. Well, I mean, well it was just like across the hall.
Jeremy: [00:13:45] All I see is this smell from the bacon and the griddle,
Liz: [00:13:49] the stink lines coming off and just going up people's noses and then they're like, Ooh. And then they float across the floor on the stink lines. Right.
Jeremy: [00:13:58] Cause in the cartoons, they always fly through the register over to the mouse or the cat or whatever.
Liz: [00:14:02] Right. And they're like, Oh no, I'm vegan. Not anymore.
Jeremy: [00:14:06] I'm not in control of my own appetite. I'm going to go get it.
Liz: [00:14:09] Yes. And then there's bacon for everyone. So. That, that seemed like a good idea, but now you're right. We are just wafting the bacon around everywhere, but then people are like, Ooh, bacon.
Jeremy: [00:14:19] I picture people flying around with their nose in the air *sniff* *sniff* *sniff* following
you guys around.
Liz: [00:14:23] Yeah. I mean, people do that all the time, just around me. Cause I smell so good. But when I've got bacon, hello boys. It's double that's why I have that. That's why I have that bacon deodorant. When I go on dates.
Jeremy: [00:14:35] beat them off with a stick
Liz: [00:14:39] Hahahah. It's like being Miss Piggy at a sweat farm. No. Um, okay. So you can see the wafting is happening. Breakfast is like work cause it's kind of through a couple hours of the day in the morning. So it also, nobody's really working that hard on things the day before Thanksgiving it's a Wednesday. So then, um, we move it into the conference room and we start frying up the bacon and then it occurs to us as.
As the smoke alarm starts going off that maybe this room was not designed for frying f*** bacon. Sorry.
Jeremy: [00:15:05] The smoke alarm is going off?
Liz: [00:15:08] Yeah, so the smoke alarm goes off. Fortunately, no sprinklers go off. Oh my goodness. But the smoke alarm was off. And so, and there's did you burn the bacon? I, I, I did not care at that point because there's, there's like 30 people in this office that now have to evacuate the whole office.
Fortunately there weren't hundreds, but on that day there were, Liz is making a real point. She's like people remember me because of my bacon. Oh yeah. They will.
Jeremy: [00:15:32] Who is this? She's really making a name for herself.
Liz: [00:15:35] Yeah. So the fire alarm is going off and we're like, What the I, so that I like unplugged the bacon.
I'm realizing maybe I can come back to the bacon, but really bacon is over for the day because everyone now has to go outside in this. What is a fire drill, I guess. And we're trying to figure out how to turn off the fire alarm. So someone's calling the building and it's loud and there's bacon smell everywhere now.
And I'm just like, Oh, I was just trying to be cool and fit in. And then they're like,
Jeremy: [00:16:01] well, at least your deodorants fitting in. Right. Cause nobody can smell your bacon deodorant cause you just smell like bacon.
Liz: [00:16:05] Yeah. I smell like bacon and I am sweating a lot. Cause I'm aware now that everyone's looking at me and they're like, no bacon is worth this.
And then, and then they're like, okay, we called the building they've turned off the alarm. Oh thank God. Yes. But unfortunately we can't tell the fire department not to come here because if the alarm goes off, they have to arrive. So. The firefighters come. And the good thing though, was they were all hot firefighters.
Like even the ladies, it was great. And it was like early enough morning, you know, it's November, it's like kind of cold outside. And apparently when they got the call, everyone was in the shower at the same time. Very suspicious. Because they get out of the firetruck and they're all steaming because it's cold and they just had showers like literally hot steaming firefighters get out of the truck.
They're coming to me hello, fire. And we're like, my mouth has hit the floor of like, not only are these beautiful people who obviously work hard to look beautiful and be strong and save me from fires. But they're like hot, like steaming to the point where I'm like, you see this too, right? This isn't just my own fantasy.
Like instead of them turning into a hot dog, because I'm hungry, you've turned into like a smoking firefighter who was on fire for me.
Jeremy: [00:17:20] You've got bacon and you have steamy hot firefighters.
Liz: [00:17:24] Exactly.
Jeremy: [00:17:25] What more, more could you want right there,
Liz: [00:17:28] part of me would like a bag to hide my head in so that nobody could ever see me again and a new job.
So then, then I was like, this is great. And then I remember now not everyone was in the room. Someone has to explain what happened to the firefighters.
Jeremy: [00:17:41] ahuh. Is that you? Is that you? Yes!
Liz: [00:17:45] They're like, Hey, I wasn't in the room. What happened? Exactly. Because some people don't know
Jeremy: [00:17:51] Liz was in the room when it happened.
Liz: [00:17:53] Bacon Liz, the bacon lady, nom nom, gotta have a bacon, set the building on fire bacon,
Jeremy: [00:17:58] did they call you bacon lady for that?
Liz: [00:18:01] Maybe? Sometimes I was the bacon lady. I was probably more like bacon girl, which is even more like both of those are not great, but that one's more insulting.
I was the admin, I guess. So its just like, there's nothing wrong with being the admin, but they treated it like I was the new kid and technically I was. New and everyone else had been there for at least two years. Cause this was the first hire they'd had in two years. So I was trying so hard to fit into the cool kids club.
And instead of that, I started a new club, the bacon arson club. You should join my club where we burn things down with bacon and it smells great. So it was so bad. It's that I had to tell this firefighter who, you know, probably tomorrow on Thanksgiving is bandaging up children cause a Turkey exploded.
And there's like, I mean, I just, I mentioned at that moment there are houses burning down somewhere and I'm like, no bacon lady, please had another incident come over. Help me. Would also, would you. Would you like to bacon? I offered the bacon. I offered the bacon, I didn't know what to say. And they looked at me like I was insane.
I was like, did you, do you want to get on this burning action? Did you want to burn something to too?
Jeremy: [00:19:10] Let's try the bacon first. Maybe it's good, maybe it's worth it.
Liz: [00:19:12] But like, I needed to make more bacon to give the bacon. And it was like, like being at a fire that you burn down the house and you're roasting marshmallows. You like, you wanna, wanna get in on this? Have you tried, arson is great.
Oh my gosh. So it was so embarrassing as the entire company is watching me and I'm having to explain to the firefighters and of course, people who didn't know what happened were kind of standing around
Jeremy: [00:19:33] outside now cold. Is it cold? Is one of those right?
Liz: [00:19:36] It's freezing cold. And I'm like, well, funny story.
Jeremy: [00:19:39] Did you get in trouble?
Liz: [00:19:40] No, I mean, not. Not like work trouble, but like socially trouble. I was now a pariah. I was the bacon pariah of the company.
Jeremy: [00:19:50] Did nobody's sit by you during office lunch.
Liz: [00:19:53] No, I mean, not for a few days while it's still smelled of bacon it was really hard to get my reputation back. And then, so the whole place smelled like bacon for awhile.
And then the meeting room only. So like bacon, like even when the kitchen had sort of dissipated and you're like trying to have these professional meetings with clients and you know, they're looking around the place like *sniff* *sniff*.
Jeremy: [00:20:10] Right. What's that smell? Why does it smell like bacon?
Liz: [00:20:13] Is that bacon, that would be a weird thing to smell in a corporate office.
Oh my gosh. So that is why I no longer eat bacon. No, but the moral of this is, so that was basically how this story ended. It is everyone's outside cold, like annoyed. Don't know why they're outside. It's like just a chill day. Everyone's like talking about Thanksgiving
Jeremy: [00:20:33] and you're ostracized from this entire company from here on out.
Liz: [00:20:35] Well, yeah. I mean, I earned my way back up, but it took a while. Is that another story? Yes, well at Christmas. I decided to roast hot dogs. No. I made a HAM! I wanted it to be fresh. So I brought a pig in and
Jeremy: [00:20:51] I was trying to think of some Christmas food you could have made for Christmas breakfast. That would have been
Liz: [00:20:56] worse. I could throw eggs at the wall until they started cooking. I don't know, but it was brought rotten eggs or something. I might as well have bacon.
There was a period of time that people were not as excited about bacon in their lives. And that was because of me and the special talents I have
Jeremy: [00:21:15] was there at least like an outlier group, you know, like rebels, you could have befriended?
Liz: [00:21:21] Well, I kind of did cause there was another guy who was making pancakes on the other skillet and the two of us together went over into the conference room to set up.
But it did not occur to us that there would be a different system of sensing fires in the meeting rooms then there would be in the kitchen
Jeremy: [00:21:38] and the ventilation system is probably very different.
Liz: [00:21:40] Right, right. Exactly. I'm just glad also that the sprinklers didn't go off because bacon grease. Yeah. Those that smoke can be pretty intense.
Oh my gosh. So. Eventually I left. So I'm no longer there and I'm no longer bacon lady.
Jeremy: [00:21:52] How long did you last there until you left?
Liz: [00:21:55] After that? Yeah, I think it was another nine months at that company. And then I quit. So I probably bet around the time that I was getting out of being bacon lady. I was like Bacon Lady is all I know I have to leave now before
Jeremy: [00:22:08] Can I be sausage lady? No, it doesn't have the same impact.
Liz: [00:22:11] I'm the bacon lady!
Oh man. It's the moment. When not firefighters show up, like the cool moment out of a movie that had been happening with slow motion and like a little fuzzy focus. Oh, like ended with them coming to me and me being like, you know how you roll in the shower? I guess you weren't putting out fires good thing.
Cause I'd hate for a house to burn it down. And you're like, "Bacon Lady!" I wish I was not here now. Can I just disappear? And they're like, yeah, Liz, you were there. What? And so I had to then
Jeremy: [00:22:43] I would've so been like, I would've been like me and pancake man. Where's pancake man. We need to find pancake, man. He was in there doing something while I was there.
I wasn't there. I don't know what set these fire alarms off. Oh my gosh.
Liz: [00:22:54] That would be amazing. Oh, it's so bad. Cause it was like, I was trying to ingratiate myself. I was trying to like become part of their culture by appreciating their customs and then outdoing it.
Jeremy: [00:23:04] It just backfired. It backfired.
Liz: [00:23:07] Yeah, just trying to show off with my bacon powers and then it backfired into smoke, into the ceiling!
Jeremy: [00:23:14] I feel like the best part of the story for me. And I hate to say this, but might be the fact that first thing you said was what would you cook? And I'm like, if I wanted to be devious, I would do bacon because it would smell and it would go crazy. And it's the grease spatters everywhere. It's a mess. It's an absolute mess and you smell like it.
You smell like it all day and yes, Bacon's great. I love bacon just as much as the next person. Right. But don't want to smell like bacon all day.
Liz: [00:23:41] If you do. I have a deodorant brand recommend.
Jeremy: [00:23:44] Bacon.
Liz: [00:23:45] I was expecting when I asked you that was expecting you to say something reasonable, but it was hilarious that you were like, I would do this to be evil!
And I was like, it's funny that you know, that that would be evil.
Jeremy: [00:23:57] And you were like dead quiet. And so I thought this was whole coffee thing. You haven't had enough coffee because I'm like, this is, this is really bad. This is good. And then when you said that, I was like, no way, I just
Liz: [00:24:11] You didn't ruin it.
You as a yes, but that was why I was silent. Not because I was like,
Jeremy: [00:24:18] cause you're still embarrassed
Liz: [00:24:21] because of my extreme bacon shame.
Jeremy: [00:24:25] Yeah. I would have totally blamed pancake guy or at least within like where's pancake guy. We were doing this together. Pancake guy, what should we tell them?
Liz: [00:24:31] Yeah like, don't set me up for that.
Cause that's also another tip. You're new to the company you're trying to fit in and start blaming people. Who've been there longer than you.
Jeremy: [00:24:39] It's a fine line. It's not blaming, it's more, let's get more people involved. So it's not just me in the middle of the circle.
Liz: [00:24:46] Okay. Which is smart. But if those subtleties were things I could grasp at that time, I think we would have avoided the bacon incident altogether.
Jeremy: [00:24:53] Totally, totally.
Liz: [00:24:55] Oh my gosh.
Jeremy: [00:24:56] So what's the moral of the story.
Liz: [00:24:57] I did not make bacon again at the office ever. So maybe the moral is when it's, when it's fried meats day, like maybe you need to just be the person who brings the butter.
Jeremy: [00:25:10] That's it? Yeah. Bring, bring the secondary support grease. No don't bring butter.
A grease a spray can.
Liz: [00:25:17] Oh, a spray can. Yeah. When it's asked for grease, bring the spray, right. If it's pancake day bring some maple syrup. Or plates even, don't try to show off when you're new at the company and be the best bacon lady. Be the best, be the best spork lady or maple syrup lady, or at least be aware of when things catch on fire and how temperatures work and smells also how smells work, just basically meat grease, greasy meats in an office environment. Bacon Liz.
It's my new superhero.
Jeremy: [00:25:53] Anything cooked? Just stick with simple room temperature, food.
Liz: [00:25:57] Yeah, it's great. It doesn't need to, you know, this does inspire me for my new comic book, villain bacon, Liz who runs around making things, smell like bacon and sets tiny, tiny fires in offices.
Jeremy: [00:26:08] You can't use your name in the comic book. It's gotta be bacon lady.
Liz: [00:26:12] Oh yeah. Well, no, that's her. Her secret identity is Bacon Lady.
Jeremy: [00:26:14] Cause you have a concealed identity. Yes.
Liz: [00:26:17] Her legal name is Liz bacon. Bacon is her last name, Liz bacon.
Jeremy: [00:26:21] I like how serious you're taking this.
Liz: [00:26:24] Ms. Liz Bacon what would Liz Bacon's middle name or initial B
Jeremy: [00:26:29] the bacon B it's gotta be B, come on.
Liz: [00:26:32] Liz B bacon it's bacon time. What Liz be doing Liz be bacon..your face. Oh my gosh.
Jeremy: [00:26:42] So the moral of the story is don't cook bacon at the office. Right?
Liz: [00:26:44] Don't cook bacon at the office I think is, is a really good moral,
Jeremy: [00:26:47] I think, sausage too any smelly meat.
Liz: [00:26:50] Yeah. So just like limit yourself on the fried meats that you cook at the office, unless you work at a place like a barbecue joint, where your job is literally to
to cook meats at the office, greasy food. Cause if that is your job, you should do that. So there you go. That is how Liz celebrates Thanksgiving in her culture
Jeremy: [00:27:09] by making bacon
ready?
Liz: [00:27:10] No, I'm not, but Liz be bacon
Jeremy: [00:27:13] and Liz be taken.
Liz: [00:27:14] Oh! Liz be ready for the ending.
Okay.
Jeremy: [00:27:21] Okay. Thanks for joining us. I'm your co-host Jeremy
Liz: [00:27:25] and I'm Liz.
Jeremy: [00:27:26] Have a great week and go bake a story.
Liz: [00:27:30] Go, go make a story. Go. Bacon story. Go make a story.
Jeremy: [00:27:35] Go bake a story.
Liz: [00:27:36] Go bake a, oh. Bye.
Jeremy: [00:27:38] Bye.
Liz: [00:27:55] like, it's a moment when not firefighters show up and it was like slow motion. They're all getting out of their cars and then just muscles and steam coming off of them. Slow walking over in slow motion. And they're like, Hey, and I'm like, Hey, and then they're like, so what happened? And then it's like RRRRRRrrrr a record scratch.
Jeremy: [00:28:17] For a minute. This could be redeemed.
Liz: [00:28:19] I wish I was not here now.